I truly believe everyone wants to help, be a part of the solution and not the problem. I truly believe this about people. I trust them, and I worked hard to do so…until recently. (Hang with me, here – I won’t stay this sappy.) Each time you have a life hurdle, you test this trust – and I think most of us spring back rather easily. I had gotten good at it, I think. But this last time, these past – three years – ugh, almost to the day…I broke. No…shattered. And I hadn’t a clue how it happened. Or why.
Still, I keep coming back to the inherent good in people – yet…how can we be blissfully happy one moment, and the next….have it shattered to pieces? And this, I understand, happens over and over to some people.
Until they wake up.
Everyone is trying to do their part. I get this. But for whom? And to what end? Our country needs to change…hell the whole planet needs to change…and I know this is what we’re moving toward: a global unity. I get it. And we must prepare. I get it. But I also think that if preparation means widening the gap between the rich and poor, ignoring climate change, redacting human (women’s) rights, shelving sustainability, becoming religious monotheists, and INSIGHTING MORE WAR – we’ll only reach consensus together in our graves.
We can blame so many entities, can’t we? Exploding technology as distraction and vulnerability; elitist academics or bible thumping creationists making up our histories; them gays covering for their bearded bros, them kinksters, them punks, or them other weirdos-in-general – or, hey – them politicians (both sides) or them greedy stockbrokers or them power hungry lobbyists; the war-mongers, the administrators, the immigrants. We blame the guns and the music, and God Damn them pretty girls (They’re weighting down the branches of the tree). We blame the teachers. The parents. The kids. Oh didn’t you hear? The kids are now the reason pedophiles act out, they beguile them with their prepubescent breast tissue and hairless genitals; they eye fuck them with their manipulative, sex-starved brains. I couldn’t fucking believe that one.
But I digress.
The fact is we’re in the middle of the biggest shift this country, nay this Earth, has ever seen – and EVERYONE is standing on their own little power platform. Economy over here! Hey Hey climate change over here! Bring God Back to the Classroom! No.. No.. Equal Marriage rights over here! And FINALLY someone, with the biggest balls I have never seen, decided to raise a hand and say – um, well what about women’s rights? Or basic human rights? See, over here, they’re trying to take our rights away…over here….Anyone? When was that? Like just a year ago..? Just a month ago? Yesterday?? Anyhow, the point is we’ve reached a boiling point. A tipping point…no, a fucking frenzy…and in my opinion, we’re all being duped. But by whom? And to what end?
And why is no one looking to blame themselves?
It’s easy, really. I do it all the time. I think I was trained to. It’s from the Ophelia complex or PTSD or wounded animal, or whatever n the fuck happens to you when men begin chasing you at the tender age of eight. (I stopped going to Psychologists after 10 years of therapy. They didn’t have much more to teach me and didn’t do it any better than me anyhow. ) And so I learned how to fix myself – by jumping into situations with both feet and trying things out. By not being afraid. By being open. By being curious. By looking shit up. By asking questions. By allowing myself to have fun. By exploring my passions…..By forgiving.